We humans are social animals. We love to communicate in person, in letters, on the phone, and now online. For centuries, we have depended on face-to-face communication to learn, conduct business, and share experiences. Historically we were able to see and hear one another, using our eyes and ears to gather information. We could see if a person was smiling or frowning. By observing body language and hearing the tone of voice, we were better able to guage the communication process. Although we might not be able to see a person's face (unless we are using a video telephone), we can still derive meaning from cues like the tone and rhythm of a person's voice. Now with online communications, we are left with only text on a screen - no body language, no voice.
Think of some examples of communication that depends on the ability to hear or see the other person. In many countries, business people shake hands each time they meet. In a karate class, students bow when the teacher enters the room. Sign Language is used to communicate with the hearing-impaired. Subtle movements of the fingers and hands are extremely important. For example, to sign the words "thank you," the signer would "touch the lips with the fingertips of one or both flat hands, then move the hands forward until the palms are facing up." (For more sign language descriptions, click on the link for American Sign Language.)
Why does all this matter in a class on Netiquette? The Internet is a new communications arena in which some things are gained and others lost. When communicating online, all we can see are words and symbols on a screen. It's easier to offend or be offended when we can't see or hear the person(s) delivering the message. Therefore, we need to follow these guidelines for better online communication.
The Internet has made it fast and easy to communicate. Perhaps it is a bit too fast and easy, and some people feel less accountable for their behaviors than if they were communicating in person. Let's review an example of how not to communicate online.
Alex,
I can't believe you are asking me to give you the marketing materials I have been collecting. After all, I am the one who gave the boss the idea that a new marketing position would be good for the company. Then, just because you play on the company softball team with several of the executives, you managed to talk them into hiring you. Or maybe you have been sleeping your way to the top! I am really better qualified for the job. Well, you can forget about using any of my stuff. GET YOUR OWN IDEAS!!!!!
Pat
Sounds as if Pat is upset, wouldn't you say? Whether Pat has a right to be upset is not the major issue. What is important is that this email message demonstrates inappropriate online behavior. It's doubtful that Pat would have spoken these same words to Alex face-to-face.
Sending such an email message could have dire consequences for Pat. Email is not private, and Alex can easily forward Pat's message to others, which would significantly compound the situation. This type of behavior is known as "flaming." You'll learn more about flaming later. For a short description of flaming from Virginia Shea's book, Netiquette, use the link below and then return to this page by clicking on the Back button. Flaming will be covered again in the section on Rules and Guidelines. After clicking on the link, scroll to Rule 7. Here's the link: Flaming
If you find yourself writing an angry email, consider using your word processing program to draft your message. While it is possible to write an email and save it rather than send it, there is always the risk of sending it accidentally, so it's best to use your word processing program instead. Save your document and reread it the next day. Sometimes getting away from the situation helps. If you do decide to send the message, you can cut and paste the text into the body of an email.
Before you let your emotions take over, consider the following:
Hi Alex,
Congratulations on your promotion. I wish you had asked earlier for those marketing materials. When I realized I would not be using them, I donated them to the business department at the university for their students to use.
I'm sure you'll do well in the new position. Good luck to you.
Pat
On the other hand, if Pat wants to continue to work towards a promotion of some kind in the company, it might be best if this type of message is written:
Hi Alex and Cory,
Congratulations, Alex, on your promotion!
Alex, you sent me an email about borrowing some of the marketing materials I have been collecting. That would be fine with me. In fact, how about if we set up a meeting with the three of us. While I'm not in the marketing department, I have had a personal interest in this area and have some thoughts that I'd be happy to share with both of you. Of course, the decision to use the ideas is yours, but I thought I could offer them along with the materials I've accumulated.
Let me know what works for the two of you. I'm available any time next week.
Pat
Cory is Alex's supervisor. It is important to understand the politics and culture of your company. This message is much friendlier and since Pat is feeling tension toward Alex, it might be best to include Alex's supervisor. Sending the message to both Alex and Cory places Pat in a much better position, and lets Cory know that Pat is interested in marketing.
Timothy Campbell has given us permission to use a tutorial he created, a 10-minute course in online writing style. Take a few minutes now to go through this tutorial by clicking on the hot link, Internet writing. Remember, if you haven't already done so, bookmark this page so that you can return quickly to do the assignment part of this section.
This activity can be sensitive, so it's a good idea for you to complete this in a private file and save it to your own data disk so that no one else can see it.
Think of an upsetting experience. Use your word processing software to write a message to the person with whom you were upset. Do not worry about how you describe your feelings or the situation. Let yourself go. Save the document. Wait a minimum of 24 hours and reread the document. Do your best to be critical of your writing. If you're still upset, wait another day and read it again. You should rewrite and reread the message until you feel it states your position in a way that will not make the recipient feel defensive and want to retaliate. If you do not think this is possible, it might be better not to use email, and instead talk to the person face-to-face, or simply not have any communication. When in doubt, it's often best not to say anything at all.
When you are done, email both the first draft and the final document to your instructor. If you decided not to send the email, write a short explanation about why you reached this conclusion and submit it to your instructor. If you have difficulty writing a message when you are upset, you might enlist a mentor or coach to help you with the writing process. Of course, it would have to be someone who is objective. The bottom line is that good online citizens avoid sending negative messages.
Test your online etiquette by taking a quiz designed by netiquette experts
with comments from Peggy Post, great-granddaughter-in-law of Emily Post.
Remember to bookmark this site to return quickly after taking the quiz.
Click on this link for a brief Netiquette
Quiz . See if you agree with the results.
http://www.fau.edu/netiquette/net/netiquette.html
http://www.masterstech-home.com/The_Library/ASL_Dictionary_Project/ASL_Tables/T.html#Thankyou
http://www.albion.com/netiquette/index.html
http://www.sofweb.vic.edu.au/internet/netiquet.htm
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